Heff
Heff is kind of a dick.... he attacks me out of no where sometimes, but I love him millions. Some shithead neighbor of mine shot Heff witha BB gun about a month ago, but he survived, cuz he's one tuff muther fucker.

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Jezebel
Jezebel is strange. She doesn't like to be held much, but if you stop petting her, especially when you're trying to sleep, she goes crazy and won't stop bugging you until you pet her. She eats a lot more than Heff....fucking fat whore.

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